Creative avoidance… I am so good at it! Some people call it procrastination, but I prefer the ‘fancy’ and ‘nicer’ way of saying it.
I was talking to a friend today and she had a few financial issues she was facing. She had several phone calls, a couple of letters, etc., all regarding late payments, no payment, and other pretty heavy financial issues, etc. that were pending and needed to be addressed. Now any of you who have faced this know it is NO fun! She was doing everything to ‘avoid’ making the calls and I know just how she feels. Sometimes we just don’t want to_________. (You can fill in the blank).
Maybe it’s having a discussion with a family member about an upcoming event or your child about an issue. Maybe it’s talking to your husband about something important in the family and you know it is going to ruin his day. It could be telling someone ‘no’ to something they want you to do. Have you ever felt like this?
Have you ever found yourself doing any of the following instead of handling your issue?
Cleaning the closet or the sock drawer
Loading the dishwasher or scrubbing the floor
Sweeping the garage or organizing the workbench
Ironing (Now this is my sure-fire clue that I am avoiding, because this is something that is on my ‘avoidance’ list)
Call and catch up with a long time friend (this is a good thing but not if you are avoiding something else)
Run errands all day just to be out of the house
__________________ You fill it in
Yep, sometimes I’ll even use the thing I am trying to ‘avoid’, (like ironing), to avoid doing something else. Pretty crazy, right? Have you ever been there, or is it just me?
Today was one of those days for my friend, and actually, for me as well. I had two phone calls that I just hated to make, (i.e., have you ever had to call the cell phone provider or cable company for something? Then you know what I mean). As I was chatting with her it reminded me of a few lessons.
It never helps to avoid it… it’ll still be there
It usually isn’t as bad as you think. It grows in our minds until ‘it’ is the elephant in the room
Handled in a timely manner keeps it manageable
Particularly in financial matters, the ‘theys’ out there just want an answer. So call and give them an answer. It may not be the answer they want, but just talking about it really does help, and often they offer choices to help you. If they are nasty, hang up … nicely (i.e. Thanks so much but I am going to call back later. Good bye.) Then call back later and see if a nicer person will answer.
Call. All they can do is say no, — right? BUT, what if they say Yes? You will have tossed and turned and sweated for nothing. (This is can be great in your business if find it hard making ‘cold’ calls. They can’t say YES unless you ask. This is powerful.)
Ask. If you need assistance, or extension, or modification, or payment plan. ASK. You might be amazed at how much help is out there. (My friend got her mortgage payment for December spread out in small payments for the next eleven months, something she could afford. She was is so relieved and now is breathing easy.)
Pray. Always before you make the calls, write the letters, answer the emails, or whatever, pray that God will touch their hearts, that He’ll give you the right words, and that He will bless your efforts.
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These work really well, when I catch myself and realize what I am doing. The trick is to catch myself before I spend too much time ‘avoiding’.
Bye for now — I guess I better get back to making my phone calls.
QUESTION: Do you know what i’m talking about? What’s on your avoidance list?
TALK to me – I’d love to hear from you!
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Next stop is Kansas City area, Feb 22, 2014.
Any of you who live in the area and would like to be a part of making the “WOW” happen in KC, let me know.
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Overland Park, KS
(Kansas City Area)
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I am available to speak to your group. To Reserve a Date